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国外足球没品笑话

Ever noticed during international football matches, the score shows three letters to show which country is playing which, such as ‘ENG 3-0 FRA’ – I wonder if that’s why I’ve never seen NIGeria play GERmany?…
每次国际比赛时国家都会用首写3个字母代替国家名,比如ENG3-0FRA。所以我就想这是不是我从来没看到过尼日利亚和德国队比赛的原因。(两个缩写连起来是NIGGER(黑鬼))

Dear Sickipedia,
I have 23 jokes and I can’t understand why any of them haven’t scored very well.
Fabio Capello.
(这个用中文翻译过来就不好玩了)

To all those women who watch the football and shout “pass it to Frank” or “bring Joe Cole on;” fuck off. You didn’t see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting “fuck her up the arse.”
所有看球的时候喜欢大喊“传给兰帕德”或者“换上乔科尔”的女人注意了。都TM给老子滚粗。你从来没见过老子在看欲望都市的时候大喊“艹她p眼”吧。

Twitter is seven years old today, meaning that no Arsenal fan has ever tweeted about winning a trophy.
(这个黑粗翔)
推特7岁了,这意味这阿森纳从来没有在夺冠的时候发过推特。

England play San Marino tomorrow. A country so small that if you kick the ball into touch you have to go through customs to get it back.
英格兰明天要和圣马力诺比赛了。要特别小心不能一脚把球踢过国境。

Michael Owen to retire at the end of the season.
In unrelated news several Stoke City FC medical staff set to lose their jobs at the end of the season.
迈克尔欧文选择在这个赛季结束时退役。
另外斯托克城的几个队医貌似要在赛季结束后失业了。

~It’s Fernando Torres’ birthday tomorrow….
明天就是托雷斯生日了
-Let’s hope he doesn’t miss it…
希望他这次别再错过了

I thought Michael Owen retired after scoring that goal vs Argentina in 1998?
难道欧文不是98年对阵阿根廷后退役的么?

After he retires from football, Michael Owen has said that he wants to study law.
So that’ll be two careers spent sitting on the bench.
在欧文退役之后,他说他要学习法律
看来他一辈子打算耗在凳子上了

After hearing of the shocking news today of Michael Owen’s decision to retire at the end of this season, every team he’s ever played for have said their to erect a memorial bench with his name on.
在听到欧文决定赛季结束后退役的消息时,每个他效力的俱乐部都表示沉痛哀悼并打算给他颁发金板凳奖。

My mate asked how does he change the settings on Fifa 13 so that his shot accuracy goes to 0%.
I replied “just play as Arsenal.”
我朋友问我怎么把fifa13里的射门难度调高
我告诉他:玩阿森纳